Are You Getting Skewed Here?  

redrockrascal 59M
6078 posts
1/3/2018 5:21 pm
Are You Getting Skewed Here?



I was just doing some reading for a post I have in mind regarding dating sites. YES, theses siteS ( yup, there are more than just the one here ) you are reading this on are dating sites - with an emphasis on sex.

As I was reading I came across the following statement regarding attractiveness


There is some evidence that there may be differences in how women online rate male attractiveness as opposed to how men rate female attractiveness. The distribution of ratings given by men of female attractiveness appears to be the normal distribution, while ratings of men given by women is highly skewed, with 80% of men rated as below average. This shows that women are genuinely more picky than men when it comes to appearance on online dating websites.

So the question is . . . wadda y'all think?


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


lindoboy100 55M
18506 posts
1/13/2018 3:17 am

In my experience men are far more discerning when it comes to visual appearance in online interaction. For example, a young lad I know says he has been ruined by the swipe left or right site, he will only swipe right if the girl's photo portrays an absolute stunner,and if he goes on to meet the girl, if she's as stunning in real life.

In my own case, I focus on the personality first, if the girl comes across as intelligent and articulate first then I might seek to engage with her. Ithink I'm picky in that way. Most of the ladies I interact with seem to be similarly discerning???

Oh well.........


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/9/2018 1:06 pm

    Quoting LisaLipgloss:
    Interesting. I'd expect it to be balanced out by men being highly visual and putting much more emphasis than women on looks.

    I've met guys who were only ever silhouhettes, though not on this site. Only one person ever showed up from here since I joined in 2006 and that was a tgirl.
Its possible guys face pics are as poorly done as their dick pic

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


LisaLipgloss 51T  
5502 posts
1/9/2018 8:01 am

Interesting. I'd expect it to be balanced out by men being highly visual and putting much more emphasis than women on looks.

I've met guys who were only ever silhouhettes, though not on this site. Only one person ever showed up from here since I joined in 2006 and that was a tgirl.

Walk this way.


s2ndegree 59M  
7368 posts
1/8/2018 6:29 pm

And their tiny little mustache.
Frank Zappa!

Using more than all the road!


s2ndegree 59M  
7368 posts
1/8/2018 6:04 pm

It goes really without saying just reading profiles here is
enough of an answer.You'd think if women were that scared of what a man might say or do because they didn't answer a message which is a pretty good indicator someone is dreadful.They would be going after what they want and sending a bunch of their own messages.I know it is another double standard that they would rather give than receive.What is sexual freedom if you're not
going after what you want rather than waiting for the 90% of us out their
that make them so sick to look at sending you messages.

Using more than all the road!


bigblackman21221 47M  
3160 posts
1/8/2018 4:55 pm

AMEN Brother!

AMEN!!!!!


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/7/2018 6:21 pm

Can I get an AMEN ! ? ! ?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/7/2018 6:20 pm

Hummm?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/7/2018 6:19 pm

    Quoting lordjack1957:
    good post and discussion RR.... I'am depressed, but enlighten... Lol
Always stay up L J

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


bigblackman21221 47M  
3160 posts
1/7/2018 3:42 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    The only problem with the ration that I see is there are a lot on men pissing or chasing off women when they don't know how to interact with them.
Preach Brother!

It never fails.


nizah23 33F
9 posts
1/7/2018 9:27 am

Hmm


lordjack1957 60M  
3094 posts
1/7/2018 5:26 am

good post and discussion RR.... I'am depressed, but enlighten... Lol

A hopeless romantic with a twisted mind and high standards


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:56 pm

    Quoting kinkyfem73:
    Am I picky? Yes I am. But having said that, maybe a bit less picky than some on here?
    For me anyone I (we) meet from here is strictly for sex. I have no desire for it to become anything more than that.
    So yes they must tick certain boxes in order for me to want to meet them, but its on a much different scale than some women who may be looking for some type of relationship as well.
That's a good point. Different people are here for different reasons. Trying to lump all (men or women) into one category is pointless.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:53 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    It's a well known fact that women prefer our brains to be in our heads rather than in our dicks. I'm fine with that.
Yeah C, I'm good with that too

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:52 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    I think that women in general don't rate men at all unless specifically asked to.

    I think women are pickier than men when the circumstances dictate that they can be.

    If I send out five emails I get at least five responses.

    I always feel that the ratio of men to women on this site is overblown.
    From my perspective it's not an issue.
The only problem with the ration that I see is there are a lot on men pissing or chasing off women when they don't know how to interact with them.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:50 pm

Not that I recall, who sang it?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:49 pm

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    To paraphrase Lala: A man must have social skills to be attractive to most women. These specifically include an ability to converse.

    Right here is where online attractiveness falls apart for me. A man sitting in front of a woman, HAS to talk, HAS to be engaging because he can SEE by her reactions (real time) how his engagement is progressing. He becomes more attractive to her by reading her cues and responding accordingly, basically including her. Ideally that is. An online conversation is almost NEVER (for me) inclusive of MY interests in conversation. A man's initial attractiveness in his picture tanks when he engages in virtual conversation that's oversexual, even after being informed that that's not appropriate. What's worse are the convos in which all I say is "cool" because it's really a monologue.

    I'd be curious if that Business Insider article had examples of the 18 emails that men send women to get a response. Were they thought-out and reflected that he'd read her profile? Were they individualized? Did they include a picture? Were they less than 5 words? Were they just chest-beating look-at-me-me-me-me-me ones? That kind of stuff makes a difference too.
An online conversation is almost NEVER (for me) inclusive of MY interests in conversation.
Then those you mention have no "game" as it were and perhaps not much between their . . . ears.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:46 pm

    Quoting WOTW2016:
    Women don't have the luxury to reject men so easily in person . I'm talking about the fact women generally have to let men down gently from even the most unwanted advances. I believe this is because it's not safe to do so. Men can get violent, pushy, and intimidating, and at that point, you just don't know what kind of man you're dealing with, so it's best to play it safe and ignore or do it gently.
    I think online, it's easier to do because of the obvious physical barriers. I also think it's accurate to say women reject men more online and is more representative to how women really feel in real life. It takes time for a woman, at least for me, to feel comfortable with someone - in person or online. If someone is pushy or too eager to move to the next steps, it's a turn off because it seems the man is only interested in meeting his own needs and desires rather than getting to know mine.
    Great question!
Good points and I agree

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:45 pm

    Quoting MyBaffies:
    Yeah, women are definitely picky.

    They never pick me. Unless they are a bot. Or a fake profile. Or in deepest Central Africa.
Its in their DNA

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/6/2018 5:43 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    I think the attractiveness of males is based on the whole person, personality, hygiene, and the way they look. And I have to say a man with a great sense of humor is a major plus in my book. Too many base things on someone's looks it's not all about that for me..
Agreed, people have many dimensions it is the sum of them that make people attractive or not.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


kinkyfem73 44F  
32261 posts
1/5/2018 9:50 pm

Am I picky? Yes I am. But having said that, maybe a bit less picky than some on here?
For me anyone I (we) meet from here is strictly for sex. I have no desire for it to become anything more than that.
So yes they must tick certain boxes in order for me to want to meet them, but its on a much different scale than some women who may be looking for some type of relationship as well.

Cum visit my blog Kinkyland


sweet_VM 59F  
76023 posts
1/5/2018 8:50 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    It's a well known fact that women prefer our brains to be in our heads rather than in our dicks. I'm fine with that.
I think your right

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


sweet_VM 59F  
76023 posts
1/5/2018 8:49 pm

Very interesting findings. It might just be right hugs V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


author51 55F  
49027 posts
1/5/2018 12:37 am

    Quoting citizen4722:
    It's a well known fact that women prefer our brains to be in our heads rather than in our dicks. I'm fine with that.
well said and true indeed....

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


citizen4722 60M  
53531 posts
1/4/2018 4:36 pm

It's a well known fact that women prefer our brains to be in our heads rather than in our dicks. I'm fine with that.


bigblackman21221 47M  
3160 posts
1/4/2018 12:46 pm

I think that women in general don't rate men at all unless specifically asked to.

I think women are pickier than men when the circumstances dictate that they can be.

If I send out five emails I get at least five responses.

I always feel that the ratio of men to women on this site is overblown.
From my perspective it's not an issue.


BiggLala 45F  
19584 posts
1/4/2018 9:27 am

    Quoting maxpowergetit:
    When a woman implies is less threatening to a male using a dating site or as she says, "but meeting and attracting women online can provide a less "intimidating", or less "cold" environment." How would she know that? I am not trying to stir the pot but as a male I have found it way easier to meet women in public than on a dating site. When I chat with a woman on these sites the questions I get asked frequently are: send me a pic? how large is your cock? and how tall are you?
    Now I have been thinking and it seems like not only has dating and female judgement become offensive but how is it different from any other prejudice. I have a 6 inch long 5 inch circumference cock and have had lots and lots of great sex but I don't think I am photogenic so meeting in person is always better than my pics.
I think you need to re-read the entire thread. A woman (me) didn't imply or say anything about online being a less intimidating or cold environment for men. To your point, as a woman, how would I know what it's like for a man? I repeated what Red said in his initial response to me. As a male, he would know that. Regardless, I'm sure everyone's experiences are different online and off.

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.


Naughtypursuit 50F  
896 posts
1/4/2018 6:35 am

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    That makes sense.

    The ration here is about 20 to 1, men to women. I read that on the more traditional sites the ratio seems to be a lot closer about 60/40. But, that can go men to women or women to men. That fits the Christian Mingle numbers. But I wonder what that says about what people think of religious meeting sites. Or what guys might think of "good Christian women".
Ever hear the song Catholic Girls....


TicklePlease 50F  
9766 posts
1/4/2018 5:04 am

To paraphrase Lala: A man must have social skills to be attractive to most women. These specifically include an ability to converse.

Right here is where online attractiveness falls apart for me. A man sitting in front of a woman, HAS to talk, HAS to be engaging because he can SEE by her reactions (real time) how his engagement is progressing. He becomes more attractive to her by reading her cues and responding accordingly, basically including her. Ideally that is. An online conversation is almost NEVER (for me) inclusive of MY interests in conversation. A man's initial attractiveness in his picture tanks when he engages in virtual conversation that's oversexual, even after being informed that that's not appropriate. What's worse are the convos in which all I say is "cool" because it's really a monologue.

I'd be curious if that Business Insider article had examples of the 18 emails that men send women to get a response. Were they thought-out and reflected that he'd read her profile? Were they individualized? Did they include a picture? Were they less than 5 words? Were they just chest-beating look-at-me-me-me-me-me ones? That kind of stuff makes a difference too.


WOTW2016 44F  
1803 posts
1/4/2018 2:52 am

Women don't have the luxury to reject men so easily in person . I'm talking about the fact women generally have to let men down gently from even the most unwanted advances. I believe this is because it's not safe to do so. Men can get violent, pushy, and intimidating, and at that point, you just don't know what kind of man you're dealing with, so it's best to play it safe and ignore or do it gently.
I think online, it's easier to do because of the obvious physical barriers. I also think it's accurate to say women reject men more online and is more representative to how women really feel in real life. It takes time for a woman, at least for me, to feel comfortable with someone - in person or online. If someone is pushy or too eager to move to the next steps, it's a turn off because it seems the man is only interested in meeting his own needs and desires rather than getting to know mine.
Great question!


MyBaffies 48M
1361 posts
1/4/2018 2:25 am

Yeah, women are definitely picky.

They never pick me. Unless they are a bot. Or a fake profile. Or in deepest Central Africa.

Baffies

My Blog: MyBaffies


maxpowergetit 41M
6 posts
1/3/2018 10:14 pm

When a woman implies is less threatening to a male using a dating site or as she says, "but meeting and attracting women online can provide a less "intimidating", or less "cold" environment." How would she know that? I am not trying to stir the pot but as a male I have found it way easier to meet women in public than on a dating site. When I chat with a woman on these sites the questions I get asked frequently are: send me a pic? how large is your cock? and how tall are you?
Now I have been thinking and it seems like not only has dating and female judgement become offensive but how is it different from any other prejudice. I have a 6 inch long 5 inch circumference cock and have had lots and lots of great sex but I don't think I am photogenic so meeting in person is always better than my pics.


BiggLala 45F  
19584 posts
1/3/2018 8:42 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    It is off of Wikipedia, so no idea who. Sort of poorly written but I believe "normal distribution" means expected results. It seems the author of the article is strictly speaking in statistical language, by saying normal distribution. I believe so.

    Skewed refers to the 80% being different than what may have been expected.

    How are they quantifying attractive? no idea.

    I agree with Recalcitrant - partly .- but meeting and attracting women online can provide a less "intimidating", or less "cold" environment.
I agree with Recalcitrant - partly .- but meeting and attracting women online can provide a less "intimidating", or less "cold" environment.
-Yeah, see I'm going to disagree with you a bit there. Yes, I think it easier for a man to start interaction with a woman online. However, he still has to have engaing social skills to truly attract women once they meet women in person. These specifically include an ability to converse, help create a comfortable environment, and present an overall attractive appearance. If he cannot do that offline...🤷🏽‍♀️

I think this is what Recalcitrant meant. Where is he to better explain his own words when I need him. 🙄

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.


Tmptrzz 55F  
39318 posts
1/3/2018 8:15 pm

I think the attractiveness of males is based on the whole person, personality, hygiene, and the way they look. And I have to say a man with a great sense of humor is a major plus in my book. Too many base things on someone's looks it's not all about that for me..

Tmptrzz


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 7:48 pm

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    Did some research myself....found this on Business Insider.....

    An average man who sends 18 messages to women his own age can be 50% certain he'll receive at least one response. For women, they need to send only 5 messages to be 50% certain they'll get a response. If men must spam women with messages in order to elicit a response, then women will be more selective when responding to the surplus in general. Since women are understandably disinclined to respond to all the messages, men must send out more in order to guarantee any response. It's cyclic.
    Everyone is acting in their own self interest, inadvertently leading to further imbalances in the system.
    It's one of the fundamental issues with online dating in general.
    _______________________________

    Also saw where the site with the highest rate of women (58 is Christian Mingle.....
That makes sense.

The ration here is about 20 to 1, men to women. I read that on the more traditional sites the ratio seems to be a lot closer about 60/40. But, that can go men to women or women to men. That fits the Christian Mingle numbers. But I wonder what that says about what people think of religious meeting sites. Or what guys might think of "good Christian women".

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 7:45 pm

And there is probably a lot more to be understand.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 7:44 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    I think I have questions. Who wrote this article? What do they mean by 'normal' distribution and 'skewed', i.e. what is normal/skewed based on or compared to? How are they quantifying attractive?

    It seems the author of the article is strictly speaking in statistical language, by saying normal distribution. I'm curious to know what data related to offline attractiveness ratings h/she used to make comparisons versus online ratings.

    In my own personal observations, I'd agree with the 80%. I often see profiles, here and on other sites, that I think gee, that guy probably doesn't have much luck with women in real life, but came online thinking his experiences will be magically different (read: better). I see a lot men who don't present an overall attractive picture, yet seem to think [beautiful] women online should be knocking down their door. Ummmm....

    I agree with my friend Recalcitrant...your ability to meet and attract women online will be reflective of that ability in your every day life. I think a lot of men missed that part of the lesson.
It is off of Wikipedia, so no idea who. Sort of poorly written but I believe "normal distribution" means expected results. It seems the author of the article is strictly speaking in statistical language, by saying normal distribution. I believe so.

Skewed refers to the 80% being different than what may have been expected.

How are they quantifying attractive? no idea.

I agree with Recalcitrant - partly .- but meeting and attracting women online can provide a less "intimidating", or less "cold" environment.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Naughtypursuit 50F  
896 posts
1/3/2018 6:56 pm

Did some research myself....found this on Business Insider.....

An average man who sends 18 messages to women his own age can be 50% certain he'll receive at least one response. For women, they need to send only 5 messages to be 50% certain they'll get a response. If men must spam women with messages in order to elicit a response, then women will be more selective when responding to the surplus in general. Since women are understandably disinclined to respond to all the messages, men must send out more in order to guarantee any response. It's cyclic.
Everyone is acting in their own self interest, inadvertently leading to further imbalances in the system.
It's one of the fundamental issues with online dating in general.
_______________________________

Also saw where the site with the highest rate of women (58 is Christian Mingle.....


classicalrebel4 62M  
974 posts
1/3/2018 6:26 pm

It could explain alot.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 6:21 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    I'm not surprised by that disparity. Men are very visual ... all a woman needs to be "attractive" is to show a bit of cleavage. That doesn't work in reverse.
Yup I wonder how much the people who look at these things, and the women on the sites, take that into consideration. BTW, I agree with you and your cleavage

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 6:19 pm

    Quoting TB5758:
    My wife is certainly picky! It is to the point where if it were me pursuing her she would tell me to fuck off, lol. Of course she denies it.
Of course she does

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


BiggLala 45F  
19584 posts
1/3/2018 6:18 pm

I think I have questions. Who wrote this article? What do they mean by 'normal' distribution and 'skewed', i.e. what is normal/skewed based on or compared to? How are they quantifying attractive?

It seems the author of the article is strictly speaking in statistical language, by saying normal distribution. I'm curious to know what data related to offline attractiveness ratings h/she used to make comparisons versus online ratings.

In my own personal observations, I'd agree with the 80%. I often see profiles, here and on other sites, that I think gee, that guy probably doesn't have much luck with women in real life, but came online thinking his experiences will be magically different (read: better). I see a lot men who don't present an overall attractive picture, yet seem to think [beautiful] women online should be knocking down their door. Ummmm....

I agree with my friend Recalcitrant...your ability to meet and attract women online will be reflective of that ability in your every day life. I think a lot of men missed that part of the lesson.

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 6:17 pm

    Quoting Zara_thustra:
    No, I'm not being skewed, but can you kabob me?

    Hell, some men see tits, ass, pussy, and they think WOO-HOO, SHE'S HOT, A TEN!

    I don't think that women generally wear bear goggles when looking at a man's dick.
can you kabob me? I could kabang ya

"bear goggles" meaning beer goggles? or have you seen far-sighted bears?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 6:15 pm

    Quoting lustasaurus:
    Maybe it’s because ladies don’t wanna look at guys’ junk.
Do they post up their junk on the vanilla sites too?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


superbjversion2 62F  
10354 posts
1/3/2018 6:06 pm

I'm not surprised by that disparity. Men are very visual ... all a woman needs to be "attractive" is to show a bit of cleavage. That doesn't work in reverse.

Fortune favors the BOLD


TB5758 59M/60F  
307 posts
1/3/2018 5:59 pm

My wife is certainly picky! It is to the point where if it were me pursuing her she would tell me to fuck off, lol. Of course she denies it.


Zara_thustra 54F  
4958 posts
1/3/2018 5:59 pm

No, I'm not being skewed, but can you kabob me?

Hell, some men see tits, ass, pussy, and they think WOO-HOO, SHE'S HOT, A TEN!

I don't think that women generally wear bear goggles when looking at a man's dick.



Are you fuckable? My Fuckable Criteria


lustasaurus 40F  
1626 posts
1/3/2018 5:57 pm

Maybe it’s because ladies don’t wanna look at guys’ junk.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 5:50 pm

    Quoting SlamittomeAZ:
    The number one issue with men on dating sites, especially sex sites, is that most men blow any chance they would have had by not reading the profile and sending a message, many times a rude message, anyway. Attractiveness goes down with a less than favorable first impression.
Yes, we read a lot about that here on the blogs. Welcome

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 5:48 pm

Cum on down

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 5:47 pm

    Quoting sphxdiver:
    I really think one has to take into account the ratio of men to women, especially on this site.

    where it's somewhere between 20 to 25 to 1, men to women.

    At least on this site, the women do have the pick of the litter, so to speak.

    Don't really know what the ratio is on others site either, but one would almost have to assume, that it's not much different, numbers wise.
Yes I would agree to a degree. The ration here is about 20 to 1, men to women. I read that on the more traditional sites the ratio seems to be a lot closer about 60/40. But, that can go men to women or women to men.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


curiousguy2005 52M
1 post
1/3/2018 5:45 pm

Good question!


benard69 63M/63F  
2529 posts
1/3/2018 5:43 pm

Think most people using this site looking to actually meet are Skewed...


SlamittomeAZ 55F  
1 post
1/3/2018 5:41 pm

The number one issue with men on dating sites, especially sex sites, is that most men blow any chance they would have had by not reading the profile and sending a message, many times a rude message, anyway. Attractiveness goes down with a less than favorable first impression.


pagancountrygirl 60F
2987 posts
1/3/2018 5:39 pm

Can I be skewered instead?

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


sphxdiver 68M  
19700 posts
1/3/2018 5:34 pm

I really think one has to take into account the ratio of men to women, especially on this site.

where it's somewhere between 20 to 25 to 1, men to women.

At least on this site, the women do have the pick of the litter, so to speak.

Don't really know what the ratio is on others site either, but one would almost have to assume, that it's not much different, numbers wise.


redrockrascal 59M
15851 posts
1/3/2018 5:22 pm

The more you say it's just a sex site the less you know.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


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