Not-So-Erotic Thoughts
 
This is Me (my Intro)

*THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT - I have HSV2 and this is your disclosure notice. If you don’t know what it is, do your due diligence or ask me to email you a fact sheet about the stats - I’m not going to give you a personal lecture right out of the gate. Read my blogpost FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE for more about this. It does not define my moral values or my sexual values - it is a medical skin condition (same viral type as Chickenpox, Shingles, or Cold Sores, but lower on the body) that MANY people have because they've been exposed to it. If this is not your cup of tea, feel free to move on - no harm, no foul.

If you haven't stopped reading ....

*I am looking for a LTR and make no apologies about this. In lieu of a LTR, I’ll take a fun and satisfying FWB situation while I’m looking for my LTR elsewhere. If I can’t find either, I’ll settle for some amusing and thought-provoking conversation.

*If you have to use the words 'discrete' or 'discreet' in your profile we're not a good match.

*I'm a straight, white female, NOT INTERESTED in married or attached men, bi-anything, couples, group or lesbian activity.

*Do not ask me for naked pics of myself … I don’t have them, won’t take them ‘just for you,’ and consequently can’t share them with you. If you IM me, and are willing to share a face pic first, I will share my face pic … simple. Friends of mine can see a few additional face pics in my private folder. BTW, I will never ask you for naked pics of yourself that aren’t already on your profile - please don’t send them to me.

I prefer my lovemaking and lustmaking in person, not on the phone or via camming, so IF we have a phone conversation and it turns sexual, chances are pretty good it’ll be the last time we speak.

*I'm 66 … I have my sexual moments, but please don’t buy into the hype that all older women on this site are raging nymphomaniacs who want to become a notch on your bedpost; also, if you are a really young man (under 30), don’t think it comes across as a compliment to me when you say you want to score with an older woman … it doesn’t.

*If you start out with lewd suggestions or sexual questions in IM, I'll shut you down. Please be civil and if possible, a gentleman.

*I have an average/curvy body. I need to lose weight and am working on it but if we are strictly talking about physical appearances and attraction, I don't consider it hypocritical that I have a preference for an athletic or muscular man. Love and lust are apparently blind.

*I still work F/T - I might retire in 2019, I might not. I am NOT looking for a LTR with someone who plans to move to Florida and live in a trailer park nor am I looking for a meal ticket.

*I love movies, gardening, reading and a couple other things, but I don’t have ‘hobbies.’ Sports in general don’t turn me on, so if that’s a deal breaker, so be it.

*I’m a widow, and have 4 kids (by birth and by marriage).

*I like romance - go figure! If by this point you were thinking I am a ball-buster, you’d be wrong - I’m just looking for a man who is manly but loves and understands women as well, looking for someone on MY terms.

*I value equality in sexual expression (I’m not looking for a dominant man, nor do I want to be the dominant one in a relationship).



Okay, so I'm being a bit sarcastic with that meme ... I think I’m just average looking, but that’s really up to you to decide if we exchange pics.
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And reality just set in ...
Posted:Feb 22, 2019 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2019 8:23 pm
99 Views

As I usually do when I first log in to the site, I check to see if I have any friends online.

Tonite, I noticed that my friends list (which is already a short list) looked like it was even smaller, and sure enough, a guy I've chatted with for a couple of months was missing from the list.

I checked my Messages, and it showed that he had deactivated his account, and all of his messages to me were, therefore, also gone.



He was a fun chat friend, and ironically, I had just been thinking how consistent he had been with keeping in touch. Now ... poof ... gone. No pre-warning from him, and no indication he was tired of the site and was considering a departure.

He owed me no explanation of course, and while realistically he was never going to be a frequent or regular FWB because of living 4 hours away, it would have been nice to continue the conversation.

We live in a fantasy world on Fuck Locally Social Sex finder and sites like it, 99.99% of those we connect with online are not going to be in-person deals but it's something of a blow when people just disappear.

Makes us appreciate the 'real' people that we do manage to cultivate friendships with.
5 Comments
The Science Of Attraction: THIS Is What Determines Whether You Have "Chemistry" Or Not
Posted:Feb 22, 2019 3:32 am
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2019 3:33 pm
200 Views

Jessica met Michael online. She was enamored of his picture, and after several emails, they finally decided to meet at a trendy coffee shop in Jessica's neighborhood. She was so excited, it's all she talked about for three days prior.
Finally the day came. Michael walked through the glass door, and Jessica's heart sank. He looked like his picture, but something seemed to change for Jessica. Unfortunately, all those butterflies she had been feeling for the previous three days seemed to just fly away.

When people meet on a first date, they are usually looking for that "buzz"—that feeling of "having chemistry." But what causes that feeling? What causes your body to react? Several things, it turns out. Attraction is actually voted on by a committee. Each of your senses has the opportunity to cast a vote. Your eyes, nose, ears, and even your skin can help decide if this person does "it" for you or not.

1. The weightiest vote comes from the eyes—especially for men.

Men have 25 percent more neurons in their visual cortices. That's why they tend to place more emphasis on visual cues. Both men and women are drawn to indications of sexual health such as shiny hair, clear skin, bright eyes, and a fit body.

Interestingly, research has also found that if we had positive childhood experiences, we're more likely to be attracted to individuals who have similar characteristics to our opposite-sex parent. One study found that people were able successfully able to pick out a photo of a woman's husband based on pictures of her father.

2. The nose also has a vote.

Women can sense major histocompatibility complex (MHC) molecules. These are proteins emitted into the air that indicate a person's immune system. Studies have found that women are more attracted to men with opposite immune systems (meaning, complementary antibodies). This makes biological sense; if a child were born from the union, that child would have a wider variety of immune cells and potentially a healthier immune system.

3. At the same time, both men and women sense pheromones.

Women are attracted to metabolites of testosterone—an indicator of a man's strength and vitality. Men are attracted to copulins, a pheromone that a woman produces during ovulation, which means men are most attracted to women during peak fertility.

4. The ears are listening to the other's voice.

A man tends to be most attracted to higher-pitched voices. A woman is most attracted to a deep voice. Research has found that the deeper a man's voice is, the more likely a woman is to remember him. Maybe that's why you just can't seem to forget those Barry White songs.

5. Your environment has a major impact on attraction as well.

What you hold in your hand can influence how you feel about someone. One study found that when participants held a cup of hot coffee in their hands, they judged a person as warmer and more generous. When the same participants held an iced coffee instead, they judged the same person as colder and more stoic.

But it's not just your hands that can vote; your butt can, too. Sitting on a warm, fluffy couch will make you warm up to a person faster than sitting on a cold, stiff plastic chair.

6. Finally, if all your senses are in agreement, one moment gets the final say—the first kiss.

This kiss is a mixture of smell, texture, and taste that has the ability to make or break a relationship. In a recent Gallup poll, the pollsters discovered that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women had broken off a new relationship because of a bad first kiss. That's the bad news. The good news is that if someone passes the first kiss test, chances are there will be more (really good) kisses in the future.

Jessica's sensory committee might have vetoed Michael, but I suspect they’ll find someone to agree on soon.

~~
Source: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-27752/the-science-of-attraction-this-is-what-determines-whether-you-have-chemistry-or-not.html
5 Comments
Why is it so damn hard?
Posted:Feb 21, 2019 1:55 am
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2019 2:37 am
216 Views

A few days ago, I connected with a guy online on another site. He liked my photos and profile. Although I wasn't overwhelmed with his pics, his didn't make me gag, so there's that. Widower. My age. Okay so far.

Him: Thanks for sharing private album ! I think you look great ,and I bet you are funny also . We should grab a coffee or drink sometime ?

Me: How about starting with a phone call ... ?? Usually 7-9 pm works for me during the week, or anytime on the weekend. If you are willing, you can message me here with your number and we can go from there.

Him: This is how it starts with scammers ! I meet before giving out info .

Me (in my head) : W.T.H.?

Me: Okay, I understand your reticense. I'm used to being stood up by men who are players, so I guess we're even on that count. If you have a suggestion as to when or where to meet, I'm open to planning something. We're about 75 miles away from each other.

Sigh.

A few days before that, someone else I'd shared one email string of 3 or 4 comments with over a month ago, on this site, contacted me again out of the blue. He asked about my Valentine's Day, blah blah blah. Then he said something like, 'I work this afternoon, but maybe you'd like to meet?'

Eh? We shared one email, extremely brief, and all of a sudden you think I want to meet with just a few hours notice?

Sigh, again.

IDK, I just don't think meeting someone on a site like this, or any other, is supposed to be instant gratification, along the lines of pulling up in a drive-thru at a fast food restaurant and ordering your lunch! I prefer a bit more conversational foreplay so to speak before I invest my time, travel and energy to meet in person.

But maybe from a man's perspective, this is how it's supposed to play out ... he is attracted, she should jump at the offer, no questions asked.

Has it always been like this and I just didn't ever notice? How is it that I lived on this planet for this long with one understanding of how it works and suddenly everyone else is playing by a different set of rules?

And here's another word that is so often misconstrued on this site: dating. People (mostly men) get their panties in a twist because their reason for being on this site is to 'have fun' (read that: have sex) and not have emotions of any kind involved in any manner, shape or form. Wikipedia defines dating as "Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship OR marriage." In other words, a little investment of time, people, an assessment period ... not just jumping into the sack after one or two brief online comments which at best is a NSA hookup/sleeping around, and at worst is prostitution.

I'm sure I'll get one or two vile responses to this, but that's okay ... it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.
9 Comments
Beverage of choice
Posted:Feb 20, 2019 3:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2019 12:31 am
374 Views
12 Comments
RED Fridays
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 6:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2019 1:02 pm
818 Views


There is no exact origin on how RED Fridays came about. However, there are many stories and news articles about various people who have started the “RED” movement in different parts of the United States. Fox news reported from Mansfield University, Mansfield, Pennsylvania that

“Cecil Cooper, a student in the Department of Geo-sciences and Army veteran, began the program on April 3rd, 2015. Hundreds of students, faculty, and staff gathered together on campus to launch the awareness campaign but the ultimate mission is a lasting tradition that became engrained into the community. Wearing a specific colored shirt might seem like a trivial act, but the meaning behind it is significant. It translates to mean that as you prepared for your day, you recognized that others are playing an active role to allow you to go to work or class with relative peace of mind that you are safe. Our service members are on call 24 hours a day, seven days per week, 52 weeks per year. They willingly ensure our safety and freedom. Let’s wear red and make it a point to Remember Everyone Deployed!”
(Source: https://remembereveryonedeployed.org/)

~~
This is not a political party issue or argument. I try to remember to wear something red on Fridays, because I have a active-military child. In a draft-free United States, our military is our best defense on the world stage, our 2nd Amendment notwithstanding.

Happy Friday! (wear something RED!)
11 Comments
Dating, Mingling, and other stuff...a middle of the night rant
Posted:Jan 7, 2019 12:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2019 3:19 am
3122 Views

Okay so for those of you who are reading this because the title caught your eye, it's just rambling at a nonsensical hour of the morning ... nothing too deep.

For the naysayers about ‘dating’ on Fuck Locally Social Sex finder, just keep it to yourself. This is not an advice article, and I'm not querying you to find out why you think 1) this is not a dating site, 2) anyone who comes here to date is a lunatic, or 3) I should be cast off the Fuck Locally Social Sex finder island. Remember the old adage, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Let's avoid the dramatic nonsense of the past few months in Blogland.

Okay, ground rules set.

I have changed my profile introduction several times, trying to find the right fit of content length, pertinent personal information, etc etc. I have gone from a lot of information, to no information, to a link that points to my blog. None of it seems to be the right combination to attract an interesting guy, but I keep trying.

I get asked a lot, why are you even here if you aren't DTF? It's not that I'm not DTF, but I have parameters. Why shouldn't I? If you are the kind of person who doesn't mind having sex on the first meetup, so be it. That's not my thing anymore. It wasn't out of the question when I was younger, but again, not anymore. But I don't condemn you ... go forth and copulate!

I've been criticized for being too 'jaded,' too 'negative.' Hmmm. Okay, but compared to whom? I would argue that a lot of women on this site seem to be jaded and negative, and experience tells us that people don't just pop out of their mother's womb in that frame of mind, lol. Attitudes come from a combination of nature, nurture and experiences. I prefer to think of myself as practical and realistic ... if I have certain opinions about the men who pursue me ... it's because I have practical life knowledge of where things inevitably lead. If I get 100 IM's from young men saying, "Wow, you're beautiful!" .... I tend to roll my eyes and wonder how fast I can get out of the IM before the inevitable next statement rolls onto the screen, 'do you like younger men,' or 'I've always wanted to be with an older woman,' or 'I'm just looking for some fun but if something comes of it ...'

And there is the thing that has got me writing at an obscenely early hour of the morning: 'if something comes of it.'

There are a million reasons that people don't want to date. I get it. It kind of terrifies me too ... I've been a widow for 10 years. I'm 66 years old. I have a medical issue that terrifies most men here, and I’m upfront about that (see my blog FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE for more information.) The candidate pool for finding an honest-to-God male that I can tolerate and who can tolerate me is getting pretty slim. And I'm still working on me ... trying to stay fit, trying to maintain what attractive characteristics I have before I turn into a full-blown crone ... it's a full-time job! LOL

But there are also a million reasons why people WANT to date. Companionship, a search for a LTR, to avoid loneliness, to feel as if we actually damn matter to someone in this world. Why can't we just admit it?

I get tired of people (mostly men) who say, 'this isn't a dating site.' Well, why the hell can't it be? If you and I chat, and we find that we have mutually-exclusive goals, then let's just move along, promise never to bother each other again, and let it go at that? Why does YOUR reason for being here have to be the only legitimate reason?

I don't want to be the woman-on-the-side, I don't want to be a notch on some 30-something's bedpost or an item checked off his bucket list, I don't want to be a caretaker for another sexagenarian who lost a spouse and needs a woman to wipe his ass for him, cook for him or clean his house in exchange for a place to live.

I do want to be attracted to a man, physically, mentally and emotionally. I think that's called being human. Once the 'fun' is out of our systems, we want more than to look at ourselves in the mirrors and say 'wow, that was fun, now what?'

Yeah, I'm on other 'regular' singles sites besides Fuck Locally Social Sex finder. A lot of them are just the same bunch of people looking for sex, but masked as looking for relationships. It's still a constant ordeal of trying to filter out the fakes, phonies and players. So telling a person to go look somewhere else besides Fuck Locally Social Sex finder doesn't hold much water in my opinion. This is not your exclusive playground.

Let's just ask each other the right question to begin with, 'what are you looking for?', let's just give each other honest, unequivocal answers, and see what shakes loose?
15 Comments
FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
Posted:Dec 9, 2018 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2019 1:04 pm
4742 Views

I realize that I am treading some very dangerous water here by sharing this particular blog entry, but as the expression goes ‘the truth will set you free.’ Consider this a rare rant about something serious, something about sex, and something besides the frivolous commentary usually seen in blogs here.

Many of the profiles posted on this and similar sites contain the phrase “D&D free,” or similar wording. I don’t dispute that the owners of those profiles intend for that phrase to assure their potential lovers that no nasty bugs will pass during coitus, but it’s a weak bit of reassurance, IMO. Unless you are tested immediately before having sex with someone, and get those results immediately, your previous status means very little, especially since the standard tests are usually limited to about 6 different diseases, and there are about 30 actual STDs/STIs. Test results are only as good as the day your samples were tested; if you have sex the day after, you run the risk of becoming less-than D&D free. Nevertheless, I get it. It’s intended to imply … safety .. and the person in the profile is probably hoping that the self-labeling will get him/her laid quicker or more often.

Pfftttt.

From the perspective of a person with an incurable (but quite common) STD, please let me share my thoughts.

I contracted HSV2 from someone over 30 years ago and I didn't even know I had it until I had a breakout after I became a mother (the change in my personal biology probably triggered the breakout.) Sexual safety wasn’t as big an issue then as it is now, at least not in my social circle. The bigger concern was an unwanted pregnancy. I don’t know who gave it to me, and I’m not sure if he even knew he had it. Regardless, he was guilty of spreading an STD, and I was guilty of naivete and not asking the right question beforehand. Done and done.

But let’s put one thing right out there and dispel some misconceptions. Well, maybe a couple of things.

First, it only takes ONE sexual experience to contract a disease. It could be your first sexual encounter, or your 500th … it just takes one time with someone who carries a virus or a bacteria that could be passed to you. This is not a morality issue people … STDs are a fact of life, and everyone who is sexually active is subject to contracting something, sometime in their lifetime. And on the issue of morality … check any ‘holier-than-thou’-ness at the door. Consensual sex is not the only way to contract a disease; if you are a child you are just as likely to contract HSV1 by getting a kiss from your great Aunt Martha when you’re a kid and then guilty if you spread it as an adult to someone you have oral sex with. And lest we dare forget, victims of sexual assault are often the unluckiest of the unlucky … they are crime victims but can also be the unwilling recipient of STDs in the process. So much for moral judgments.

Second … it rankles me that a person without an STD (or perceived to have no infectious disease) calls themselves “clean,” while anyone with an STD is considered the opposite … “dirty.” This is how slut-shaming, stereotypes and bad jokes are allowed to exist unchecked. Consider that STDs or STIs have been at all-time highs for the past several years, and then decide if it’s wise to point the finger. How many people are guilty of spreading infection because they are in denial about their own health, too scared to disclose to potential partners, or just don’t give a damn about anyone else except themselves? How many of your friends or relatives may be silently suffering when the horrible jokes are made and everyone laughs about STDs, or when you brag about your own ‘cleanliness?’

I disclose to anyone I might be considering having sex with, if our relationship gets to that level, and I don't take it lightly. It is the right thing to do. And yes, it gets me shut down most of the time. And yes, I will get some email or responses to this that will consist of name-calling or lectures, telling me I’m dirty, disgusting or whatever other self-righteous beratement they can come up with. But that’s okay. I’d rather take the high road than be accused of being deceitful. I’d rather give a potential lover the choice, because I wasn’t given the choice and I have paid the price. WIth medication, use of condoms and avoidance during times when I am most likely to pass an infection, there is only about a 1% chance of me spreading my illness to a partner. I was married for 32 years and my late husband never contracted it. Much better odds to have sex with me than with someone who doesn’t know their risk factor, or worse, who knows and doesn’t disclose to you. Just saying...

Don’t tell me you’re sorry about my situation, and don’t give in to the hype. Speak your truth and support others who are not brave enough to speak their own truth yet.

The truth will set us all free.
4 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
And reality just set in ... (6)HeartCollector
Feb 22, 2019 8:11 pm
The Science Of Attraction: THIS Is What Determines Whether You Have "Chemistry" Or Not (6)ltrskr
Feb 22, 2019 7:57 am
Why is it so damn hard? (10)SweetCirce
Feb 21, 2019 7:54 pm
Beverage of choice (14)justskin1
Feb 20, 2019 2:17 pm
RED Fridays (11)Tmptrzz
Feb 15, 2019 9:57 am